Happy Birthday to...

KEITH RICHARDS who turns 265 today. It has, of course, been long established that Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons and has unnatural longevity after snorting a heady blend of his father's ashes and a mysterious herbal infusion given to him by a shamen and obtained from the leaves of a certain plant.* Reports that he cannot die at all after he once beat Death at a game of Fuzzy Ducks have yet to be confirmed.

Congratulations Keith!

*It was cocaine.