And in other news... My Play

First produced in 1948, "The Lady's Not for Burning" was one of John Geilgud's favourite plays and he regarded it as "the best Shakespeare play not written by Shakespeare".

Thomas Mendip, a world-weary soldier fed up with life, wanders into a small medieval town determined to get hanged. He swears he's the devil, 'he who sings solo bass in Hell's madrigal choir'and insists that the towns people hang him at once.

The only problem is that the town is in a flap over Jennet Jourdemayne, the solitary daughter of a deceased alchemist who tinkers with her father's chemistry equipment, talks French to her poodle and dines with her pet peacock on Sundays.

This, of course, leads to accusations of witchcraft after the town believes she is responsible for the disappearance of the rag-and-bone man Matthew Skipps. Although Thomas claims credit for the deed and demands to be hung immediately, it is Jennet who is sentanced to be burned at the stake. He wants to die, but no one will kill him, while her life is in danger and she wants to live.

I have a nice little cameo as Matthew Skipps, who turns up at the end of the play, having not been turned into a frog at all, but rather having been on the piss all day. There's a nice little scene where the townspeople confuse him so much he believe he must actually be dead and everyone else angels.

It does give me the opportunity to overact terribly and probably steal the show, if I do the part right.

Here's a BRIEF SNATCH. Probably entirely incomprehensible. My accent's going to be even broader once I get it down pat, but for now this is the "lite" version.

Anyway, tomorrow there's the 'Curtain Call Awards' for the local theatre groups, like a local theatre version of the Oscars. We did pretty well last year and received a number of nominations, and winners. I'm vaguely hoping my set design for the last show might be nominated for something this year, if nothing else. But we did well last year, out of the 60 or so groups that attend, so even if there's no nominations it will be good fun.

There may even be a picture of me in a tux sometime.

Stolen from elsewhere7

Go to google.com and type "(your name) needs" Then pick the funniest ones and post them here.

Matt Needs Spaz.

Please donate to the "Matt needs new pants" fund.

When Matt needs to let off steam he plays his drum.

Matt needs help coughing, moving at night and using the bathroom.

Matt needs a fine instrument.

Matt needs to start selling large blue foam "We're Number One!" hands.

Matt needs to make some form of sense to the rest of us.

Matt needs to be consoled by a man in hood.

Matt needs the most work on not blurting things out.

Matt needs to buy a hearse and drive it to California.

Matt needs the will to live.