Bad reviews are bad?

[angelophile]

Sometimes I'm an evil man. I mean, I know Transformers: ROTFL has had epically bad reviews, being described variously as "like being hit over the head repeatedly with a very expensive, very loud train set", "simply despicable", "repugnant", "tedious, crass and despicable", "The Worst Movie of the Decade", "a horrible experience of unbearable length", "a fundamentally shitty movie", "like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan", "a lumbering idiot of a movie", and "a dishwasher loudly shitting in your face for 2 hrs."

Then there's been the incredible video rants. Like this (so many good points there between the rage), this or this.

But it was this review in that last link which has me in stitches. If coarse language offends, I'd suggest you don't read on:

"This movie….

…..was a worthless, mindfucking, pathetic, absolutely unredeemable, assrapingly godawful waste of time film filled with NOTHING but scenes of dogs fucking each other, horribly offensive racist caricature that was mindbogglingly horrendous, padded with NOTHING but constant, rambling absurd, shoot-your-self embarrassing and nonsensical dick jokes, obnoxious, grating, boring, ridiculous garbage on an unmessurable scale, and a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE excuse of a film.

This film…. was so fucking incoherent, so pathetic, so absolutely desperate, and such a miserable, half-assed, failed, fucking piss-poor excuse for anything that could even reasonably called a “movie”, that even calling it a “movie” is an insult to ALL movies.

Calling this a “film”, or a “movie” does nothing but cheapen the term itself, and makes the art of cinema as a combined whole seem inconceivably worse because of it.

There is absolutely not one single, solitary second or conceivable moment, anywhere to be found in this film that isn’t an embarassing, shitsucking, piece of absolute gutter trash that has EVER… and I mean EVER been so fantastically puked onto a theater screen before, and most probably, since.

You cannot MAKE a movie this bad. One simply cannot MAKE something on this order of useless tripe if one TRIED to do so.

Rather, there is not ANYONE that exists in the nearest or farthest corner of god’s green and fertile earth today who can make a movie as bad as Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen if they had actually made the SPECIFIC effort to make a film this atrocious.

Even by ACCIDENT, the idea that garbage like this could be assembled in such an impossibly asinine and utterly abysmal fashion is incredibly remote and almost goddamn impossible to conceive or imagine.

Even for the incredibly, utterly, low, rock bottom standard of what could presumed typical of a Michael Bay SHITFEST can be, it is almost infinitely difficult to imagine, as to how, why or in what galaxy or entire dimension of suck that something this indescribably awful on every conceivable level as Transformers 2 is, could ever remotely come into being.

This movie is honestly, and undeniably, a goddamn, mother fucking plague of dark ages proportions.

And do you know what? Saying what you’ve said, and me saying what I’ve said as well, is actually being POLITE towards this movie. Much more so than it deserves.

This movie cannot be rated on a scale determinable by any possible number that we know of to exist, including reaching into negative numbers or even extending back to an infinite horizon of negative numbers."

So, what do you reckon, did he like the movie or not?

Sometimes I just find the outpouring of vitriol in hilariously awful reviews therapeutic.

Of course, I didn't hate the movie, but I'm finding the sheer, unrepenting hatred in the majority of the reviews to be as entertaining as the movie itself. If not more.