angelophile | Police 6

In a state of heightened alert after receiving reports of clowns on a crime spree, Minneapolis police arrested six zombies at the Mall of America for carrying "simulated weapons of mass destruction."

Creating simulated WMDs has been a felony crime in Minnesota since 2002, protecting our fjord-pining Scandinavian neighbors from the following:

... any device, substance, or object that by its design, construction, content, or characteristics, appears to be or to contain or is represented to be, constitute, or contain, a weapon of mass destruction, but that is, in fact an inoperative facsimile, imitation, counterfeit, or representation of a weapon of mass destruction that does not meet the definition of a weapon of mass destruction or that does not actually contain or constitute a weapon, biological agent, toxin, vector or delivery system ...

Police said the group were allegedly carrying bags with wires sticking out, making it look like a bomb, while meandering and dancing to music as part of a "zombie dance party" Saturday night. It turned out they were just boom boxes, but I'll sleep easier knowing that my colonial cousins will be safe and that the police are ready to spring into action at the first sign of zombie attack.