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Some other stuff, by John Hegley...


Tuna Day (for the USA) 

I say tewna, you say toona
I say happy new year,
You say happy new year
I say Cuba is a democracy worthy of
recognition and respect...


My doggie don't wear glasses

my doggie don't wear glasses
so they're lying when they say
a dog looks like its owner
aren't they


A Somewhat Absent Minded Attempt to Be Politically Correct
 
Someone I don't know that well
tells me they have a little boy.
"Oh yes," I enquire, "and how old is he or she?"


Love poem by my dog 

 I saw you in the park
I wanted to be your friend
I tunnelled my snout
up your non-barking end


Amoeba
 
hello amoeba I wish you were my pet
but you're not really big enough to be seen by the vet
are you?
you're a little blob of jelly
you've got no skin and bone
you're not a boy you're not a girl
and you're not on the telephone
I cannot get in touch with you
I cannot pull your leg
you look a bit like a fried egg
you're a long way down the ladder
that evolution trod
but you can eat with your feet
or to be more discreet
obtain food with your pseudopod
and you don't have to have a partner
to start a family
you can multiply by dividing
tra-la-la-la-lee
you don't get up in the morning
because you never go to bed
you've not got any genitalia
but you've got other bits instead
I saw you down the microscope
when I was just a lad
I told my mum about you
and then I told my dog
you're not heterosexual bisexual
transvestite transsexual
lesbian or gay
but you seem to do okay
it isn't rude to be an amoeba
in the nude
is it eh?
you're not so simple
you little protoplasmic pimple

July 2020

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