angelophile | Lots of stuff

Not really got anything specific to talk about, just been thinking generally about things and want to mumble a bit.

Got a rehersal for my play tonight. After a good start where I learnt the first scene in a couple of days I've stalled a bit. Not managed to learn anything else, although I guess I've made a little progress. Not long left to learn the words so this is getting me a little worried. Probably just need a little more rehersal. Nothing like repetition to help learn the words.

My memory's not good enough for this.

In other news things are pretty settled just now. No major upheavals inmy life so I guess I don't have a lot to rant about. My diet's faded back into non existance, but I NEED to get back onto it and lose some weight, especially before this show. Supposed to look like a buff 17 year old, not a fat 27 something.

Motivate me people.

Been rping more and have actually recovered a lot of my enthusiasm for it. Had a lot of fun in my recent scenes, rather than being at the 'do I have to' point I was at a couple of months ago. Actively seeking rp so I must be a bit more relaxed about things.

There's been a general improvement all round I guess. I'm feeling more confident, content and generally more at ease with myself and other people. A couple of blips aside which usually come with tiredness, people haven't got under my skin as much as they were. If I think about where I wasat a year ago, where just a cross word from someone who was upset could bring me to tears, the difference is miraculous. I shrug off criticism a lot easier, my self confidence has returned more than it was. I don't take things so personally and (I hope) I'm not quite so paranoid. Definately an improvement in my mind. I hope everyone else agrees.

Started reducing the dosage of my tablets, since there's been this improvement. Hopefully of course I should come off them entirely, but am just taking things slowly. I still suffer from terrible stress at the end of each month when I have deadline and I'm coping better with that, but not perfectly. Obviously the amount of stress and lack of sleep I suffer from then gets to me as much as it would anyone and I burn out pretty quick and it takes me a few days to recover. But I'm not at the point I was a few months ago that when on deadline my thoughts are so black I can't cope. Hopefully I can find ways to reduce the stress of deadline now. Last month was the worst ever and I can't cope with another like it.

Otherwise life's getting there. Moneywise I'm not well off but finally I've caught up with my debts. Paid off the remainder of my credit card bill last month and paid my parents rent again, so that brings me up to date, which I haven't been since before I went away on holiday in May last year. That break, then my writing off my car, new computer and another expensive holiday followed immediately by christmas meant I'd been struggling with money for months. Had enough left over this month to hit the sales. There's been some -really- good winter sales this year and I've bought a lot of clothes. Designer clothes with 70 percent off means they're affordable enough I can justify buying a lot towards a new wardrobe that's of decent quality. Got some great stuff recently - a load of Ben Sherman and Kickers shirts, designer tops, designer trousers, a new coat, all at the fraction of their previous cost.

Think next month if I have a bit of cash spare I'll look into getting broadband adsl installed at home. May mean dropping AOL which has actually served me pretty well, desite the problems others have had. I've always been happy with it though. We'll see. AOL still don't support macs for broadband but personally I can't see why not. I have the equipment I need, just need the info to be able to log on. Their tech supportdid talk to me before and said it was possible but wouldn't be supported. Guess I may talk to them again and find out.

That's all really.