This kitten has claws

Treated myself to a new toy today, literally, in the shape of a new Transformer - namely Alternators Ravage. For those unfamiliar with the Alternators line, they're basically 22:1 scale models of real vehicles with incredible detailing just like real model cars, but transforming into robots. The line has already seen updates of popular characters like Jazz, Grimlock, Hound, Prowl and weirdly, (and uniquely) a previous version of Ravage in a more humanoid form (based on his Beast Wars version).

This new version's unique in a number of ways. First off, he's got his first release here in the UK, ahead of the US release. Secondly, he's also completely British, by the looks of things, having a Great Britain license plate and a British built vehicle mode - the Jaguar XK - a nice bit of fan wank, because of the third reason for his uniqueness - he's the first Alternator to have a less-than-humanoid robot mode - in this case going back to his roots as a sleek, robotic Jaguar.



He's also fantastic. He's one of the Alternators who's waaaaay better in the flesh than pictures would suggest. He's burdened by a few flaws - the kibble on his back is a little awkward and his missiles too small, and he is admittedly, one of the weaker Alt molds, but an average Alt is still a thing of beauty and having the first non-humanoid robot form in the range, they've done a fantastic job.

The Da Vinci Czzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Hmm... Hot chocolate, coffee and effervescent vitamin C tablets make for an interesting taste sensation when served together as a single beverage...

Quiet weekend for me. Pottered, did washing, shopped on Saturday and yesterday went round to my sister's for the afternoon to spend time with my niece and family. Had an enjoyable time keeping her amused (let's face it, a two year old is about my level), then had a Chinese I'd picked up. Very nice.

Ended up watching the Da Vinci Code, which was everything the critics said. Dull, turgid, over complicated, ridiculous premise - but I knew all that from the book. What crippled the movie was the desire to pack every single bit of plot in, often without explanation for why it was happening which made it hard to follow, or to give background in horrible information dumps that were impossible to follow - most of which Tom Hanks has to take the blame for. A little enthusiasm from Hanks would have pulled the plot along - as evidenced by every moment that McKellen is onscreen, giving a likable performance - but instead it makes it dull, dull, dull.

Ian McKellen's info dumps were full of life, which made them easier to digest, despite the fact he had to deliver a horrible, 15 minute scene that simply explained what the hell was going on. It's not even as if McKellen was up to his normal standard - the role called for plenty of hamming-it-up, considering how ridiculously over-the-top and faintly xenophobic it is - but McKellen has charm even when poncing around chewing the scenery and he was the only one of the main characters who didn't seem to be asleep. Hanks gave his most uncharismatic performance to date, reeling out plot in a dull monotone that made my sister and brother-in-law nod off before the end of the film. They missed the last 20 minutes and had no desire to go back and revisit it.

Things weren't helped by the fact that about half an hour of the lengthy movie is taken up by the characters trying to solve a riddle so staggeringly simple I had it pegged within seconds of reading it, while the heroes have to go on a slow-motion chase around London to try and figure out what should be incredibly obvious. I wanted to scream the answer at the screen just so they could get the hell on with it.

Frankly, it's probably the adaptation the less-than-impressive and over-hyped book deserved, but disappointing regardless, considering the solid cast. Ian McKellen and Jean Reno, for gawd's sake. How bad could it be?

The answer is very bad indeed.