Ball kicking for FUN!

"I am looking for cute ladies willing to kick me in the balls- I pay you Ca$h - Yes, you read that right. You can have fun and get some real money by kicking me where it hurts the most!"

Continuing the theme...

Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock For Two Weeks

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a Brentwood man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

http://www.thewmurchannel.com/news/4815733/detail.html

Sign here please, Mr. Dick Head

A bank has apologised to a customer after sending him a debit card bearing the name "Dick Head".

NatWest said it had launched an inquiry after Chris Lancaster, 18, of Tiptree, Essex, received a cash card with the wording: "Mr C Lancaster Dick Head".

Mr Lancaster said he did not spot the insult until he was handing over the card in a supermarket to pay for something a few days after it arrived in the post.

"I couldn't believe it," he said.

"When I got the card out I saw the name embossed on it. I was so embarrassed I put it back in my wallet.

"I know I've been overdrawn a few times but I've done nothing to deserve this.

"The bank said it must have been a worker with a grudge."

A NatWest spokesman said: "We have apologised unreservedly to Mr Lancaster.

"This is completely unacceptable and we have launched an investigation."

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30100-13399559,00.html?f=rss

Feck! Arse! Girls! Drink!

Damn, I miss Father Ted.

Three series before the death of its star, Dermot Morgan, cut this series short. Three years of perfect insanity, including the moment where a whole troupe of priests are lost in Ireland's largest Lingerie department and it turns into something akin to Apocalypse Now, Ted trying to explain perspective to Dougal, Ted explaining the difference between Fascists and priests ("Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas priests..."), Father Jack's hairy hands, "My Lovely Horse", Speed 3 with a milkfloat, flight into death...



Set on the extremely remote fictional Craggy Island off the west coast of Ireland, three priests preside over the island parish: Father Ted Crilly (played by Dermot Morgan), the simple-minded Father Dougal McGuire (played by Ardal O'Hanlon) and the perpetually drunken, lecherous and foul-mouthed elderly priest, Father Jack Hackett (played by Frank Kelly). They have a housekeeper Mrs Doyle (played by Pauline McLynn), who is hell-bent on serving tea to all and sundry.

It's one of the best of British comedies, managing swipes at catholicism while being equally whimsical and pleasant. Surreal in parts, slapstick in others, all verbal comedy in others, it's comedy in the best vein of Blackadder or Python.

If you've never seen it, go bittorrent some now.

http://info.mybittorrent.com/?i=2447&c=3&n=Father+Ted+-+The+Very+Best+Of
http://seedler.org/en/fhtml/info/137627