Yay!

Good news for Doctor Who fans. The Daleks -will- appear in the upcoming series after all.

After such a big outcry from fans and a number of newspaper campaigns (including one in The Sun which go an endorsement from George Dubya (the mind boggles)) the BBC finally managed to get a compromise with Terry Nation's estate.

Mr Nation's family refused to allow permission for the Daleks to be used, claiming that the BBC were planning to ruin them by making them "too evil."

Yeah, I mean, the catchphrase "EXTERMINATE!" suggests they're just cuddly bunnies.

Anyway, glad that's finally settled. Probably explains why the Dalek voices that were in the TV version of the last Dr Who film vanished without trace on the video release.

And this is why Warren Ellis is on my friends list...

Bedtime Stories At The Vale Of Tears

Old Jellaby, when he first came to the Vale, sought to ingratiate himself with the great and the good by holding elaborate soirées at the Lodge. These mostly revolved around the selection of ordeal poisons he'd brought back from Africa. "Don't worry," he'd rasp around his giraffe-hide tongue. "These saucy little essences can have no effect at all upon the sound of mind and kind of heart." The Reverend died almost immediately, of course, in appalling contortions. His bollocks exploded like handgrenades, taking Mrs Naismith's hand off at the wrist and knocking Dr Gideon's dentures down into his left lung. Where they remained, chattering eerily each winter as the snow covered the small children that the Women's Institute would nail to the village green every December to get them some fresh air. Some people still believe they hear Dr Gideon's lung-teeth singing hideous numbers from "The Music Man" and occasionally yelling for Pure Boys, despite the local constabulary having helpfully worked his cadaver over with iron bars prior to the funeral, "just in case the uncanny little bastard tries to come back."

That sort of thing had been a local problem since I was a boy, when Farmer Hobble contracted the fabled "terrible cock-mange" from the sheep who ate the dumped army chemicals and learned to have sex in the missionary position.

But that, my darlings, is a tale for another time, for I see that the horse tranquillisers have already taken effect.

Good night.


(C) Warren Ellis 2004

(no subject)

How many people wanna kick some ass?

I used to be a nerd - Grew up in the suburbs
Nothing there ever went wrong - I made it up in this song
I talk about the hood - I say stuff like "It's all good"
Tell people I'm down with All the cool kids downtown
When I've never even been there.....

How many people wanna kick some ass? (I do, I do)
And how many people sick of holding it back? (I am) Well I am, too
So don't lay another finger on her
She's mine and I still want her
If you put your hands upon her
Youre a goner - goner
And how many people sick of holding it back? (I am I am)
And how many people wanna kick some ass? I would if I could
But I'm really just a sensitive artist - Perpertrated like I am the hardest

So spin your cap around to the back - You think you rhyme but you can't rap
Loosen that strap a little more - Until your axe hits the floor
Flip off your fans, and make them cheer - Try to look sincere
Anger's today's fashion
So sing another song about bashing someone's head in

How many people wanna kick some ass? (I do I do)
And how many people sick of holding it back? (I am) Well I am, too
So, don't lay another finger on her
She's mine and I still want her
If you put your hands upon her
Youre a goner - goner
And how many people sick of holding it back? (I am I am)
How many people wanna kick some ass? I would if I could
But I'm really just a sensitive artist, Perpertrated like I am the hardest
Acting like I'm not the smartest, I'm really just a sensitive artist

Awwww.... yeah!

So don't lay another finger on her
She's mine and I still want her
If you put your hands upon her
Youre a goner - goner

And how many people sick of holding it back? (I am I am)
And How many people wanna kick some ass?

I said, How many people wanna kick some ass?
How many people wanna kick some ass?
What're you gonna do when you're sick of holding it back?
I think I'll kick some ass

How many people wanna kick some ass? I would if I could
But I'm really just a sensitive artist Perpertrated like I am the hardest
Acting like I'm not the smartest But I'm really just a sensitive artist

...honest.