Funeral and everything...

Well, that's probably a first for my family. Something going off without a hitch. Went up to London for my Gran's funeral today. My grandfather died before I was born, but a double plot had been arranged when he was buried so my gran could be buried with him. Actually a first for me. Never been to a burial before. In the Methodist church most people tend to be cremated, and since most people whose funerals I've been to have been Methodists I've never actually attended or been involved in a burial.

So a first and it has to be said the whole day was very... enjoyable, as much as a funeral can be. We had a steady drive up to London, passing the herse on the way. I was surprised when we overtook it just how many flowers and tributes there were on and alongside the coffin. When we reached the graveyard I was able to examine them a bit closer. My branch of the family is very small, my dad was an only child and my mum's brother died some time ago. My mum's parents also died from emphascema (sp?) at a very early age, when I was too young to remember them. So my Gran was my only remaining grandparent.

Anyway, it was nice to see a number of cards, floral displays and bouquets from those unable to attend the funeral. My dad has a number of cousins - my Gran had a couple of brothers and sisters. I always think flower displays are wasteful - I'd rather see a living plant than a flower with a limited life - but I know my Gran always liked flowers. She would be ouched by the beauty of the displays I'm sure. In that respect it was totally appropriate.

The funeral took place in the chapel in the graveyard. The local Methodist minister took it and it was a very pleasant service. We expected it to be just the five of us in the immediate family ut one of my dad's cousins attended with her daughter, which was nice to see. The funeral directors couldn't have been more helpful or respectful. The pallbearers remained during the service, and their presence was appreciated. They helped swell the numbers of us singing a couple of hymns during the course of the service. It was all very pleasant. My oldests sister and father said a few words, as well as the minister herself, and it was a fitting tibute I'm sure my gran appreciated.

We walked to the graveside after the herse, my mum and two sisters, and no doubt a few people thought we were being disrespectful as we remembered a few stories from Granny's past. Things she'd said or done that amused her and us. The happy memories came flooding out as we followed her coffin and what could have been a horribly maudlin experience felt more like a celebration of her life.

As she was laid to rest along with my grandfather we said our piece and added soil to the grave. It was poignant but not upsetting. My gran had never been happy after she had to leave London to come live in a care home near us. She'd always wanted to return home. And she did, to be laid to rest with her husband who died 30 years before her. She found talking about what she wanted after her death depressing and would never mention it, but undoubtedly it is what she wanted. To come home.

Can't say fairer than that. It was a quiet, thoughtful, but pleasant funeral for a woman who had lived her life as she wanted and had been ready for death. She will be missed but I know she's at peace now and back home where she belongs. That's all she wanted.

Rest in peace Violet May.